Nurturing 16-Month-Old Twins in A Montessori Home

Recently I was thinking back to the newborn stage with twins. That was a hard season as a mama. Yet, now living each day with two active little people, this season of raising twins is also very busy and challenging at times. This month has been the most fun stage yet because of everything they are learning how to do. But in all honesty, it is harder in new ways each day. They have started to expereince conflict with one another. They experience big emotions that they don’t know what to do with. Let me share some of my expereince doing Montessori with 16-month-old twins.

Changes to the Prepared Environment

Let’s just clear up one thing that I think can be deceiving about the Montessori philosphy. Montessori does not mean it’s perfect. Far from it actually. My children cry, get hurt, get frustrated, throw food on the floor, and test just about every limit we set. Montessori doesn’t prevent these things from happening in my home, it just gives me a framework to guide, model, and teach how we can and should live in the world. Now that we have cleared that up, let’s look at some of the changes we made to our home this month.

The Bathroom

Getting cleaned up after snacks and meals was starting to be a battle. We added a step stool to put at the bathroom sink and and faucet extender to bring the water closer to their hands. This has been a new highlight of mealtimes. They love to go wash up in the bathroom. It eliminated the resisting, crying, and frustration about getting their face wiped off becasue they have water to engage with. These simple changes have made all the difference to offer a little more independence for them in their day.

Designated Play and Movement Area

We have this loft space in our upstairs that has never been used very well. Before it was kind of a sitting area but kind of a playroom, all in all, it just wasn’t making sense. I moved a few chairs around, added a rug, and brought up our Pikler triangle and our platform and ramp to this space. Use the code “MONTESSORITWIN10” for a discount on your order! I wanted to reclaim the cozy feeling of our living room without having as many children’s toys in that space. This upstairs space has made the perfect playroom for movement. I was able to set up a shelf with work as well. I love how this space is functioning. It gives a designated place for climbing activities and a better space for Montessori shelf work activities.

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The Challenging Realities of Twins

As I am on my journey with twins and raising them in a Montessori way, I have not had many resources about the process. One of my goals with this blog was to offer one perspective on the realities of raising twins in a Montessori home. I want it to be real, raw, and helpful. So I don’t want to sugarcoat it and say it is all fun and easy, becasue it isn’t. However, I wouldn’t change it for the world. So here are some of the challenging realities we faced this month having 16-month-old twin toddlers in our Montessori home.

So Many Hands, Wanting Everything and a Need for Kindness

Whenever you do something with one child, the other child wants to be part of it. If I take out a material to show one of them, the other child is just seconds behind desiring that same thing. They start grabbing at it, taking it from them, and honestly, they have been using physical force to get the thing they want (pushing with their head or biting). We are working on saying sorry by giving a hug or kiss when we hurt someone. These are the sweet moments after something intense just happened.

I am accepting the reality that I can’t make them not react these ways, but that doesn’t mean I don’t do anything. When these things happen the natural consequence is that they don’t get what they want because when we hurt people, we don’t get our way. I will also often remove them for a little while to find something else because they also were not able to be kind to each other. I also will physically separate them from each other and tell them to stop and that it isn’t okay to hit or bite.

Sometimes…But Not Always

I know, I know that story sounds intense. It feels intense in the moments it happens. An observation I have had which continues to be seen is that these behaviors are more present when I am present. There are times in the day (before and after naps) when they are in the same space, with their toys, and rarely are there any conflicts between them. It is like they have figured out how to be near one another but when an adult is around to uphold justice, they have more conflict.

There are also so many moments they play well together and I love observing those moments between them. When I am putting materials onto the shelf during a toy rotation, I keep it in mind to offer a variety of toys that have multiple pieces which will allow them both to play and work with it at the same time. My life sometimes feels like the book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”. If one twin has something odds are the other twin will want the same thing. This is an interesting thing for me to think about becuase of the Montessori principle of limitation, which would say to not have multiple of the same things (depending on what it is). However, those are thoughts for another day.

Montessori Highlights at 16-Months

I want to highlight a few things from the month. There is a new interest and ability to climb up and sit in chairs. I will find one of my sons, in particular, sitting in our gliding chair in the living room looking at a book. The sight makes me chuckle every time. Another newly developed skill is going down the stairs independently, They can get down, turn around, and maneuver their way down the stairs safely.

Gross motor and communication have been exploding. They climb on just about everything and seem to have full-on conversations with each other. They understand everything I say I think and follow simple commands quite well. One day I handed one of my sons a bowl of Crasins to bring to his weaning table for a snack. I said, “You can bring that to your table.” He carries the bowl across the kitchen and sets it on his weaning table. He maneuvers his way into his chair and his twin comes to join him for their snack. It is these moments especially that are so beautiful to witness. I love how our Montessori home supports moments like this one to be possible.